And i started to wonder… do people really hate Carrie Bradshaw?

Or do they just identify with her a little too much

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The late 90s to early 2000s worldwide success Sex and the City has gained an entirely new audience of young women since it was added to Netflix’s catalogue, and it continues to be an iconic pop culture phenomenon that keeps bringing back and establishing trends in fashion. The show follows a group of four single women in their thirties living in New York—Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha—who often discuss topics such as men, relationships, and the challenges of being single and successful in Manhattan. The main character and narrator of the show is Carrie, who writes a column also called Sex and the City, using her personal life and her friends as topics for the column. With the return of its popularity came criticism and the new generation’s thoughts on the show. If you search social media platforms like TikTok, you will find many content creators discussing very valid issues with the show, including lines and scenes that are no longer considered acceptable. One of the main criticisms you’ll encounter is that people believe Carrie Bradshaw is a problematic character.

Which brings me back to my question: Do people really hate Carrie Bradshaw? Throughout the show, none of the characters are perfect; in fact, they are quite flawed. However, Carrie seems to infuriate the audience on a deeper level, obviously there are many moments that she is petty, selfish, ungreatful and just overall a quite bad friend to the girls. But what appears to arouse more anger in the audience is particularly regarding her attitude in relationships and toward Big.

On multiple occasions, Carrie’s decisions in relationships are far from ideal. She tends to fall in love with men who are emotionally unavailable, with Mr. Big being the prime example. Carrie settles for whatever he’s willing to give her and persistently insists on a relationship that clearly isn’t working. She was willing to jeopardize nearly every relationship she had if it meant she might have a chance with Big, no matter how slim that chance was.

What angers people the most is that over the years, Big kept coming back whenever Carrie was happy and moving on. She would be living her best life, only for him to reappear like a ghost haunting her every move, preventing her from truly moving on. She says that it’s as if he has some sort of sensor that alerts him whenever she is finally happy, so he can swoop back in and disrupt that happiness. And yet, she always comes back to him, even after knowing that nothing will change. Carrie and Big have this toxic dynamic that keeps pulling her back to him, no matter how long they’ve been apart. Big chooses to return whenever it’s convenient for him, without considering how Carrie will feel. He believes that she is just waiting for him to be ready and, when he is, she will drop whoever she is with, and most of the time, she does.

How many of us have had a Mr. Big in our lives? Someone who shows up whenever they feel like it and expects us to drop everything and run back into their arms? And how many of us acted exactly as Carrie did? Giving way too many chances than they truly deserve, making excuses, defending them, and ignoring all our friends who say it’s toxic and self-destructive. Yet, we continue because we wonder if they might be "the one" and worry that we didn’t fight hard enough.

Carrie, like many of us, is haunted by the "what ifs" of a relationship doomed to failure. The one relationship she wished had worked out never truly did, and every time she sees a chance to jump back in and put an end to the doubts and hopes that consume her every move, she takes it because she can’t help herself. She could have a hundred successful relationships and spend years with the love of her life, but the one person who will keep her up at night will still be Big. He was her biggest "what if" of all and the one she didn’t want to let go.